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I recently I shared with a young lady who working for a Fortune 500 company. She wrote and asked me “What is the best way you’ve found to build strong and effective relationships?” 
Here are 10 things that I listed as my response to her:
1. Building trust
- There are wo important parts of building trust: character and competency.
- Character: Make sure you have integrity (keeping promises, for example), always be positive and take initiatives.
- Competency: Make sure you can deliver excellent results, continue to learn and grow in your field.
- Know how to rebuild trust. There are too many ways by which we can betray trust with others, sometimes unintentionally. Know how to rebuild is important.
2. A win-win mindset
- Always try to satisfy others first and then you will be rewarded instead putting yourself first in everything.
- Have an empathetic mind.
- Switch the table and put yourself into others shoes.
3. To seek to understand first and then to be understood
- Listen before you speak
- Understand others’ emotional needs, not just functional needs
- When you communicate ensure you are able to clearly express yourself
4. Capable of seeking and receiving feedback.
- “capable” means the ability to receive genuine feedback from your bosses, colleagues and subordinates.
- After receiving feedback, you can take action to improve it.
5. Be willing to do more than what you suppose to do.
6. Never bad-mouth behind others. It always will haunt you later. If you have issues, deal with others face to face.
7. Do not manipulate others for your own benefits.
8. Love and care for others.
9. Learn to motivate and encourage others. Don’t carry the chips on your shoulder all the time.
10. Be pleasant, positive, and passionate
To be able to do the above 10 things in our day to day life is a great challenge. The most difficult task is that before you can build a sustained relationship, you have to destruct your old self. It is not that different from a contractor first taking down an old building and cleaning the site before building a new one. It takes courage and diligent efforts. But as a Christian, by reading Bible daily and prayer I do experience that God’s words would shine on and enlighten me. It also gives me the strength to improve those things little by little, and step by step.
Please remember: “The Lord is my strength and my shield; in him my heart trusts.” (Psalm 28: 7a)
God bless.